How I stopped worrying about BMW minis and went to Illinois.
I had a great (unexpected)time this week. Summers are slow and I try to use the time and catch up on just chillin and doing more stuff for me in preperation for the hectic school year and non stop travelling. So I knew I didnt have a show till thursday and friday and they were just local New England shows. No planes or hotels or nothing. Then…On Monday afternoon I was walking around Boston with an ice coffee taking in the waterfront view just daydreaming.”Hmmm should I clip my toenails today or tomorrow. yikes that one looks nasty! I wonder what that seagull is thinking. This ice coffee is making me hyper. I wonder if I could lift that BMW mini if an old lady was trapped under it. How and why would an old lady be under a car. What if she was a mechanic. Rather sexist and agist of you to think that a person because they are female and old couldnt work on cars…Not really though cuz it would be here in the middle of Atlantic ave…Yeah but what if her son broke down in his fancy mini and because he is such a modern metrosexual yuppie he knows nothing about cars and the lady finally says “What kind of sissy boy did I raise..Outta the way…I’ll look under the car…let me pry it up with this crudely fashioned jack…Oh heres the problem its your cata….BANG CRash ..umph…oh help …good lord help I’m stuck under a mini..See if that actor with the day off and fugly toenail can save me…” SO this was my day dream. THen My cell phone rings. Its Mike. “Dude..Can you be in Illinois tomorrow night. The speaker at this conference I’m doing cancelled?” Yeah man of course. “Sure yer not too busy?” Trust me…I’m really doing NOTHING right now. So I leave my house at 3 AM catch a flight to Moline. Air tran breaks my bag. My cologne bottle explodes in my suitcase making me and all my clothes smell like a gigalo for the next two days. The only shirt I have thats not smelling like cologne is the one I’m wearing with a big coffee stain on the front. (Not the same ice coffee I was drinkin…This is a different one) So I get off the plane and have to buy a shirt in the airport in Moline so when I greet the conference organisers I don’t look like a vagrant. Its a toss up between an Iowa Hawkeyes jersey or a John Deere polo shirt. I was raised a wolverine fan. No WAY am I wearing an Iowa shirt but I worry about looking like a suck up to the locals with a John Deere shirt. I know I’ll crunch it and mess it up a lil and kick up the collar to make it look like its an old one from home. So I drive an hour past corn and soybean fields (GO BIODIESEL!) and finally get there. This kid with a name tag greets me.”You the speaker?” Yup. “Oh SNAP yer bags broke” I know “Lets get you inside…Nice shirt by the way…John Deere…Fit right in” CRAP! So anyway the show was amazing. Even though I left out/forgot to do a key scene at the end with a stoner character…The deli…some of you know. Anyway.The kids were inspiring..I spoke with kids who are struggling with addiction either in their own life or watching family members. I met a couple of people in recovery that really made me feel like this whole thing is so worth it. The kids were respectful and into it. It was the Illinois Teen Institute. It reminded me of TIGGS and LMTI in NJ. So I was really glad I went and hope to do it next year. This time I bring an indestructible bag. Plastic cologne bottle…And my 1 year old john deere polo. Well I ‘m off to the University of Hartford for a noon time performance. I’m gonna be late but I should make it on time. I just hope I don’t see any old ladies working on minis on Rt. 84. That could really slow me down.
