Pure Vida

I can’t begin to tell you about the amazing experiences I’ve had in 48 hours. I’ll begin with what happened about 3 hours ago.
I’m in Costa Rica in a province called Guanacaste. Mix of rainforest and dry forests on the pacific coast side. I was coming out of one of three restaurants in the area after eating an amazing piece of Marlin wrapped in banana leaves on pineapple rice which cost 3800 colones….About 7 bucks. A few minutes later this kid is yelling to me “Run Run..Get your scooters” The next thing I know I’m traveling down on a dirt road on my scooter in the middle of central america. Its bumpy and crazy from the rainy season. There are vines swinging in the road. A stray dog chases me. Its pitch black but for the headlights of our scooters. We ride for 10 minutes into the middle of nowhere. Carlos a local environmentalist guide riding on the back of my friends scooter signals to stop. We must shut off the lights. We go on foot. We have only a flashlight in the middle of the woods. The path is barely wide enough for a person. How long will this path take. What the hell was that animal that just moved right near my head. I’m getting a little scared. Where is this guy taking us. And why is he taking us out away from all light and civilization and what is in his backpack. Then I hear the roar..of the ocean! A couple minutes later we step out of the woods onto a beach and I look out and see every star. Apparently I’m standing somewhere between the north star and the southern cross. I’m on a beach thousands of miles away and I am the only one that doesn’t speak spanish and waves are crashing We walk rapidly along the shore and then about 200 feet up ahead I see a tiny red light. We get closer. A guy with a red flashlight is waiting for us and he has 5 others in front of him.Carlos reaches into his bag and pulls out a red flashlight. He pushes us forward toward the others. They are all on their knees or standing with their backs to us. looking down. Looking down..

At a huge leatherback turtle! 4 feet in length and probably 800 pounds. Its digging and grunting. Its back flippers dig a perfectly rectangular two feet deep hole in the sand. And over the next 20 minutes it lays 88 eggs. I watched it all. This is all true. And it just happened under the stars here in Playa Grande, Costa Rica. I put my hand on Carlos’ back and say “muchos gracias amigo.” He says “pure vida!”

Good night:-)

I’m going to Costa Rica

I’m going to Costa Rica till Saturday.
First vacation in years.
See some turtles.
See some sloths.
Try surfing.
See a rain-forest.

I’ll come back with pictures.

love,
john

Thanksgiving Prayer

This is an annual tradition for my blog. A blessing from the late poet William Burroughs. This year I provided text and video and not just audio.
CAUTION STRONG LANGUAGE:-)

Thanks for the wild turkey and
the passenger pigeons, destined
to be shit out through wholesome
American guts.

Thanks for a continent to despoil
and poison.

Thanks for Indians to provide a
modicum of challenge and
danger.

Thanks for vast herds of bison to
kill and skin leaving the
carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves
and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until
the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For nigger-killin’ lawmen,
feelin’ their notches.

For decent church-goin’ women,
with their mean, pinched, bitter,
evil faces.

Thanks for “Kill a Queer for
Christ” stickers.

Thanks for laboratory AIDS.

Thanks for Prohibition and the
war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where
nobody’s allowed to mind the
own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks.

Yes, thanks for all the
memories– all right let’s see
your arms!

You always were a headache and
you always were a bore.

Thanks for the last and greatest
betrayal of the last and greatest
of human dreams.

a 70 year crime scene investigation

god is jesus
god is a burning bush
god is a lotus flower
god is santa
god is zeus
god is a rain cloud
god is a cure
god is something nice
god is a band-aid
god is a sunrise
god is a touchdown
god is gonna get you
god is a million ways to avoid eye contact
god does not shake hands.
god is the male fear of commitment.
god is a candy bar.
god is a delicious empty calorie for a woman on her period.

god says things should and could be different.
god declares war on reality.
god is war
god feels good.

Want a hug?

god is a great way to live your life
and miss the whole damn thing.
god is a hand over the eyes at a horror movie.
god is like me
god gets grossed out at C.S.I.

god bless

yours in christ
-john

Panic In Detroit (Episode 1 of First Paragraphs From Novels Never Published)

This was inside my head while waiting for my flight in Detroit today:-)

I am waiting
I am waiting
Waiting for someone to come out of somewhere.
-Rolling Stones, Album: Aftermath, “I am waiting”

About 80 meters to her left, on the other side of the window overlooking the tarmac, a man stands in a urinating position, holding the fuel hose out front with one hand and his other hiding his face. He is waiting for the jet to finish fueling. About 10 meters to her right a german tourist, replete with strange shoes and knit cap, plays with the computerized information kiosk. She bites her bottom lip and rhythmically sways her phone up and down wondering if she should call. Perhaps if she stays here she can disappear into the mosaic of travelers and pilgrims. The ideas of disappearing and peace escape her brain in the form of an exaggerated yawning stretch. She curls her fingers cat-like in a move from those insipid yoga classes she took while escaping the boredom of the intelligentsia at the Sorbonne. She winces from the bruises on her back and guesses that the congealed cut on her ear is worse than she thought. If Jules were with her last night he would have kissed each wound and made her drink that awful herbal tea mixture. Perhaps even removed the slivers with his teeth and tongue. His remedies were comical and throughout the three years together he was always part lover and part witch doctor. No time for nostalgia. He was doomed from the start. She slings her flannel bag over her shoulder and shuffles toward the gate. The loudspeaker whines that “all sections are boarding” and she instinctively looks back at the German tourist to notice him rapidly punching a number on his mobile phone. She scans the room for the exits. She takes a step toward the gate and then notices a figure three passengers ahead of her in line. That cap with the indigo sanskrit insignia. She’s seen it before. God no. Not again!

Matched

Theres a clean pile of socks
waiting to be matched
on laundry day.

They are sorted and inside-outted.
Matched up.
Joined together.

There are two left without a match.
Same color almost. Its close.
They are different.

Tuck them together anyway.
They will get lost if left alone.
If worn, no one will notice.

What’s a perfect match anyway?
No one will notice.
Unless they look close.

Good thing there was not three.

Instructions For The Stupid

This just may be an ongoing feature and I also welcome your own comments and complaints.

Todays favorite Instruction For The Stupid comes from the world of recorded messaging and touch tone customer service. I actually heard this one yesterday.

“To end this call…Simply hang up.”