Two actual customer service calls from today
These are pretty much verbatim transcriptions of the daily crap that I deal with.
Episode 1 EZ-Pass (Fastlane) in Massachusetts:
Me: Hi, I left my transponder in my car which is in the repair shop. I do have an extra one though which was deactivated sometime ago.
I am going on a trip to New York and New Jersey tonight and I would like to activate my old one so I can use it tonight in my rental car.
Customer Service Genius at EZ-Pass: Sure, No Problem. I can definitely take care of that. First I need your account number. Ok now I need you to verify your address. Verify your phone number. OK verify your billing information. Excellent, now what is your four digit PIN that you selected. OK Now I need the number on your transponder. (10 minutes passes) OK you are all set. You are good to go. Just don’t use it for three days.
Me: Well as I mentioned I’m leaving tonite.
CSR Genius: Oh…Thats right. Well can you use your other one?
Me: As I mentioned its in my car.
CSR: Can you not get it?
Me: No its in a repair shop…Thats why I called you.
CSR: Right. Well you should be all set. Just don’t use it for three days.
Me: (Loading my revolver) Ok. Thanks.
So then I get to my hotel after hitting every toll booth. Of course my travels take me down the Garden State Parkway…Which is of course .70 every 70 feet (A comedian named Paul Murphy’s line BTW:-)
Anyway I check into my hotel and I am excited to take advantage of the “free wireless internet.”
I go to log on. I need a password. No biggie. Every hotel has a password. I call down to the front desk.
Episode 2: Hotel Internet Gal
Me: Excuse me miss. I need the password for the wireless internet.
Hotel gal: You don’t need a password.
Me: thats funny because the network is locked and its asking for a password.
Hotel gal: Well thats strange because no one has ever had to enter a password. I can give you national tech support.
Me: Uhm I don’t wanna get into all that. I just figured since the sign said “free wireless internet” that you guys would provide the password.
Hotel gal: Sir there is no password. Do you have it plugged in?
Me: What the power to my computer…What does that matter?
Hotel gal: No the internet cable.
Me: Well I saw a cable there…But I thought you had “Wireless.”
Hotel gal: We do sir. But you got to have that cable plugged in.
Me: Well thats not really wireless is it….
Hotel gal: (Silence)
Me: (Waiting in silence with my ear to the door. Listening for the sound of her brain exploding) I’ll use the wire. Thanks. Gnight.
Joe B. says:
You should have waited another minute to see if she would have suggested using an EZ-Pass transponder instead of the cable.
March 19th, 2008 at 9:16 am
john says:
I believe that the two were certainly linked.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Sara says:
It’s like a conspiracy….
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:59 pm